You Think You Know...

...but you have no idea. This is the diary of Mike. I'm taking a slightly different approach to today's post. Rest assured, the usual brand of BS and nonsensical prose will remain, but before we get into that I'd like to tell two short anecdotes from my morning. I don't think I'll ever forget this morning. If it's even possible, this morning saw me become even more cynical and dubious towards my fellow man (and woman); especially the ones that occupy East Lansing. Follow me, won't you?.....

// This first one set the tone for what has been an odd day. The setting: West Circle, the fine campus of Michigan State University. I'm enjoying what has to be the nicest weather of the calendar year thus far. I am steeee-ruttin' my stuff and listening to "No Air" by Jordin Sparks featuring Chris Brown. Don't judge me, it's an awesome song and I love it. I can't explain it, but I never want to stop listening to "No Air". Getting back to the point, I'm enjoying my walk. As I pass IM Circle, I see a coat hanger that has been hung onto one of the holes in the post of a No Parking sign. Strategically attached to the hanger is a yellow sheet of 8.5 by 11, held by a Scotch piece. On the paper, it was scribed:

WHAT WOMEN CHOOSE WHEN THEY DON'T HAVE A CHOICERegardless of personal feelings on the issue, who in the hell would make that? I was stupefied, and with that little nugget of awful imagery, I went to take on the day. Little did I know: insanity was about to double down with the dealer showing an ace.

// The setting: CAS 299, Media Writing. I love this class. Every assignment, every lecture, loves it. I won't bore you with the details of what we do, but trust me it's rad. Today was like most other Tuesdays in the class as we had a quiz. The quizzes are pretty easy and - since I like this class so much - I actually put forth a legit effort to learn the material. As was foreseen, I completed the quiz with about 5 minutes to spare. I could do one of two things: re-check my answers in case of the proverbial brain-fart OR charge it to the game. You know it? You know it! As I flipped the quiz to what I refer to as "doodle side", inspiration hit me. My Tigers eked out a gritty win last night and are mashing again tonight in search of their first 2-game win streak of the season. What better way to pay homage to the baseball gods than by doodling the Olde English D? ENGAGE! After completing what had to have been the best D I've ever drawn, I'm approached by a TA (hereafter referred to as "Psycho McBabblesalot") who says to me, "I'm gonna need to take your paper." I say, "OK." thinking I was finished and she was just keeping a clean house. My friends, I was far from finished. To wrap this story up because it's not as funny as I thought it'd be, she accused me and the chappy next to me of cheating. After class, I calmly explained to the professor that the D I drew - with a hat around it - was in no way an attempt to telegraph the answer "D" to the guy to my right. I asked him to look at the hat I was wearing (Tigers hat) and to not stoop to the same idiot level of his TA. He obliged, and as I was walking home from class I thought, "Hey, this might be a funny story for the 'stream." Clearly, I was mistaken. Oops. Seeya.

THE LINK DUMP:
+ Psychoanalyst Finger Puppets I think these would be nice to have on a bad day
+ Spoon-Holder Bowl If you've ever had a "Lucky Charm" marshmallow stuck to your spoon, you recognize the need for this gorgeous piece of dishware
+ Jelly Belly MAN FLAVORS I love "man" marketing. This isn't too far-fetched, really.
+ The Rather Difficult Font Game I scored a whopping 10/34. If you can do better, holla back. It's very hard. And stupid.

I'm going outside to play catch. If there's also nice weather in your area, enjoy! If not, sucks to be you! Late.