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Tuesday, April 22, 2008

Big Ten > Big XII

// If you haven't seen this yet, take a moment. Sit down, adjust, make yourself comfortable. Imagine yourself as an Athletic Director of a large D-1 university. You're in charge of countless individuals and facilities. One of your biggest earners, the football team, has an enormous stadium that is truly a testament to your program's glory. Every fall Saturday, it's filled to capacity with people cheering for the team you oversee. In fact, your team is so popular that people are flooding the gates for the spring game! What if someone comes into your office and asks, "Hey boss, I feel like we could add a little extra shtick to the football games. Got any ideas?" Well, if you're one of the handful of historical idiots that ran athletics at Colorado, you answered like this: "Let's get a dangerous LIVE ANIMAL!" Enjoy...


// From the department of paintings that weird-ify the consumer culture icons that shaped my childhood: check out this painting of the Cereal Mascot Reunion. The beauty of this piece is in the subtle details. Also the cigarettes. I always knew something was troubling the Trix rabbit. Now, it might be too late...

// You know how during the promos for network shows there's always that last shot where the main character(s) is just looking at the camera doing nothing? Like when the FOX voice-over guy goes, "...starting at 8 on an all-new FOX MONDAY!" in his gravelly voice and then there's just Jack Bauer looking straight at you (and kind of pissed off and suspicious that you might be a terrorist)? Good news: I came across this YouTube gem showing a video of the casting process of Gossip Girl. It's shows people they were considering for the show doing those moves you see actors do on their promo shots. Only there's no sound or voice-over so they're just standing there looking like slaphappy dipshits. Without any background behind it, you're looking at a solid 7.5 on the weirdly funny scale. Or maybe I'm just bored.

// According to Wikipedia, Fox is set to release Speed 3 on October 28th, 2009. Sometimes the jokes just write themselves.

// Speaking of idiotic movie studios (and the pompous people like myself who think they could do better), I was watching Teen Wolf today. I was watching the scene where Michael J. Fox takes the way-out-of-his-league girl to the bowling alley for a date - after an implied afternoon session of werewolf sex in the auditorium - and Teen Wolf and the girl are exchanging little kisses and he's getting really flirty etc... I absolutely cannot believe that there wasn't at least one studio bigwig who said, "Hey, guys? Don't you kinda think the kids might be scared of a werewolf in their school? I mean, why are we assuming he would automatically become super popular? His whole race has been portrayed as a bunch of murderous monsters. I don't know, maybe it's just me but this might be a silly idea for a movie." That must have been some dynamite blow they were doing in the 80s.

// At last, I can die in peace:

4 comments :

Anonymous said...

Colorado needs to get it together. Still, impressive for the buffalo to distinguish his first entrance of the season by running over a handler. The collective groan from the crowd was outstanding. And lets not pretend like that dude stood a chance. He was mauled.

Can Ralphie carry the ball for the Buffs this season? This power could definitely help them win the Big 12 North.

16 seconds into the video: Definitely Manick running away from the buffalo. What a pansy.

Anonymous said...

OK, just read the rest of it. S'job Mike.

About ten seconds into that YouTube video, I felt like I was straight creepin. Still watched it all. Is that wrong? At least theres hope to becoming an actor if it doesnt work out in Chicago. Were they paid to do that?

Anyway, Speed 3? Hah.

Anonymous said...

Speed 1- bus
Speed 2- cruise boat
Speed 3- something unimaginable

I am actually pretty excited

Anonymous said...

I think this says a lot about Colorado as a whole because if you can't even get the pregame right i can't imagine that the game went any better, their team is awful, they have olympic skiers as return men and have been caught cheating more times than Clinton