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Tuesday, June 10, 2008

Soapbox = Nice View

+ ***WARNING: POSSIBLE SPOILER FOR "TROPIC THUNDER"*** The word on the street is that Tom Cruise has finally gotten wise. Lemme ask you this: In today's mean, cynical pop culture world, what's the quickest way to go from being a disliked social pariah to being the "He's Not That Bad/That Was Actually Pretty Funny" guy? Self-deprecating humor. The best examples I can think of are Conan O'Brien and Larry David. Few know this (I myself am too young to remember), but Conan's ratings absolutely sucked when he first got Late Night. He was thought of as too goofy for hosting; that his best medium for expressing his humor was as a writer, away from the cameras. His self-depreciation epiphany turned his whole career arc around and next year he's moving up to the 11:35 slot. Larry David's case is a little different. Obviously, Seinfeld was tremendous, but it was his little-known film Sour Grapes (made right after Seinfeld) that had people wondering if LD's funniest days were behind him. Enter Curb, the hilarious success widely hailed as one of the funniest TV shows ever. Much like Conan's monologues after '97, CYE is chock-full of self-deprecating jokey jokes. So... Tom Cruise? In a little less than 2 years, he went from Biggest Movie Star On Earth (yeah, I'd even put him ahead of Tom Hanks in the early/mid '00s) to "dude, Cruise is kinda weird" to everyone thinking he's either insane or a homosexual with the world's best-looking beard. The word on the street is that Tommy's return to people not hating him comes in the form of his (intended) surprise cameo as an obese, bald, idiotic, and yes... Hollywood Scientologist movie studio exec. Methinks this will pay dividends for the former-golden-boy-now-vessel-for-an-alien-soul. And truthfully, I hope it does because as wacky as some of his beliefs seem sometimes, if everyone took a step back we'd realize that making fun of the dude's religion isn't very nice.

+ Taboo Conversation: To clarify that last point, I'd like to climb up into my little ivory tower for a moment. Scientology, though it's views and history seem slightly outrageous to a lot of people (yours truly included), is a legitimate religion. All alien jokes aside (nice 180° considering I just made an alien joke), if that's what the followers believe, that's their business and they have a right to express that belief. The disagreements arise when Scientologists and non-Scientologists alike take these stories in a strictly literal sense. I'm of the opinion that most religious historical accounts are meant to be figurative so they function as better teaching tools. I think that if more people embraced that point of view, there'd be a lot less verbal barbs and discriminatory attitudes about any religion. At the risk of offending almost everyone I've ever known/met, I'll say that regarding a comparison of the teachings of the Bible and the teachings of Scientology: I perceive some of the stories in the Old and New Testaments to have a similar degree of hard-to-believe plot elements. It's not hard to be dubious about Jonah getting swallowed by a whale, somehow surviving for an extended period of time, and then being vomited out healthy enough for travel, only to become deathly ill when he sits out in the sun. While the plot - when taken word-for-word literally - seems maybe a bit implausible, the lessons from these stories are what we learn. To sum up: Scientologists have some beliefs that many people are skeptical about, but that situation is similar, if not almost exactly like, the dubiousness faced by Christians in the early go. I might be going to hell now, but at least I made my point on a blog. Hopefully God is one of those "take it easy" omnipotent beings.


+ Is this uniform an exercise is bad design and idiocy? Or is it a stroke of genius? Let's start aesthetically. The red looks kinda silly and I'm not a huge fan of vests, let alone red ones with yellow trim (McDonald's anyone?). That said, doesn't that jersey evoke - even a little - thoughts about pirates? I can't look at that uniform and not see shades of a pirate. Give the dude a righteous hat and an eye patch and presto!- he's an extra standing next to Johnny Depp. Younahit? Younahit.

+ About two months ago, I watched the Katt Williams HBO Comedy Special The Pimp Chronicles Pt. 1. First off, I was very pleasantly surprised. I wasn't expecting too laugh as much, primarily because sometimes I don't totally understand what black comedians are talking about. (FYI: I'm kind of white. Women be shoppin'.) Au contraire, it was maybe the funniest comedy special I've ever seen. Getting to the point, one of his funniest jokes dealt with the difference between party attitudes in white people and black people. Without putting too fine a point on it: Williams contends that black people are more apt to - as he says - "take it eeeaaaasy" whilst out on the town, while white people are infinitely more gung-ho about getting as intoxicated as possible. True or not, his delivery was full of candor and made for a funny joke. I wouldn't have reacted to this in nearly the same manner had I not seen Katt Williams' show. Seriously, the tagline for the drink is, "Slow Your Roll." I thought alcohol was already a depressant. They should have called it "Coma-Toast". I'm so clever, I'm stealing my dad's jokes.

+ From Italian artist Maurizio Savini, these absolutely incredible sculptures made from chewing gum. I think these are really cool, but I can't look at them without thinking of two things. 1) I really should make an effort and finally settle on a favorite gum: Bubblemint Orbit or Mint Mojito Orbit. 2) My blood begins to boil when I imagine some nose-in-the-air bohemian dismissing these sculptures as "proletarian" or "illegitimate". Here's a question: who decides if certain art is kitschy? Who decides if it's legitimate? I remember AP English (side note: I thought for about 5 minutes on whether or not to make it a point to include the "AP" and in the end I just figured f*ck it and I pointed to myself with my own thumbs) and our teacher dismissed the story of Star Wars as illegitimate. Despite my intense, borderline erotic affinity for the stories, I wasn't really offended. More curious. Why is that story not "legitimate"? It draws inspiration from some of the most tumultuous times in human history, the movies (at least Eps. IV & V) have well-developed characters facing major dilemmas with huge ramifications, there are (multiple) well-thought-out storylines, and those storylines eventually intersect in tense, dramatic fashion. So what makes the story kitschy? Is it the lasers? Does a story become illegitimate if it features any lasers? How about robots? Is a story considered "made for the stupid" if it's set in the future/distant past/distant galaxy/different realm? If the characters are not talking in a language that frustrates high schoolers, is the story not considered to be valuable? If someone can explain to me why fictional stories like Star Wars or Gladiator or even Lord of the Rings are illegitimate, I'd love to hear it. To me, the stories favored by academia (par ejemplo: Harrison Bergeron, Dr. Faustus, Inferno) have the same level of "legitimacy" as the stories enjoyed by the bigger portion of the populace.

+ I'm getting pretty good at Spanish. Out of the two languages I've studied (German being the other), Spanish has a more broad application. No duh, right? Then why the mention? Because I'm congratulating myself. It's what I do. There have been very few things throughout my life that I've actually chosen to learn, and there's been even fewer times in my life where I've thought about the benefits of something long-term (long-term for me: anything after the upcoming week). It just seems to make sense though. I'd be willing to bet that by the time I'm 30, I'll be in constant contact (either through work or a neighbor or whatev) with a person that speaks EspaƱol as a first language. If that turns out to not be the case, it'll always be in the back pocket for some questionable dirty talk with the wife.

+ Video Ender: This isn't a funny video at all, and the violence is borderline NSFW so take note. I liked it because I like The Warriors and any other movie featuring young people taking it to the streets for no reason. Perhaps not in this violent of a manner, but screw it. Also, that song in the background gets me all kinds of fired up. Enjoy, I guess. Maybe not.

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