Election Analogy, New Math, & The Finals.

+ Obnoxious, possibly offensive poster? Maybe. First black presidential candidate? Oddly enough, also maybe. Hillary has basically said she's conceding... but she didn't say she's conceding. These semantics are reminiscent of those stereotypical mafia sit-down talks in the movies. The one confused guy says, "So you're saying that if I kill that du-." Then he's interrupted, "No... we're not saying that. But if we were..." IT'S SO STUPID! At this point, she's just coming out on the short end of the PR stick. You know what Hillary is like? Picture you're at a pick up game of softball. You're on the home team. You're going into the ninth inning down by a run, but in the top of the 9th, the other team scores one. So Hillary's the third batter due up in the bottom of the ninth. When she's up to bat, there's two outs and none on. She works the count full and is really making a great effort to keep the team alive. In the 12th pitch of the at-bat, she hits a hot grounder to short. It's a close play at first, but Hillary is called out. As of right now, Hillary is basically standing on first screaming at the ump that she was safe, but EVERYONE ELSE ON THE FIELD has agreed that she was out and is now packing up the gear and making their way to the parking lot. Sooner than later I hope she realizes when it's time to pack it in and go grab a beer.

+ I was walking around campus today and I saw a dude in a wheelchair. I think it might've been a motorized but he was going on his own power. Considering it was like 90˚F out today, I thought about offering him assistance getting up a piece of the sidewalk that was at about at 25-degree grade. Then, I thought about the possibility that this might offend him. As my decision deadline approached. I came up with the following formula that can be used in all situations where you're considering aiding the disabled people you come across in your day-to-day:

IHPR(O) + S ≤ AHPR + PS(T)

Whereas:

IHPR = Incredulous Handicapped Person's Response

O = Offensive Quality Multiplier

SU = Shame Units

AHPR = Appreciative Handicapped Person's Response

PS = Personal Satisfaction

T = Number of Thumbs Up given by the crowd around you

If the equation is true, you take the risk and help. If the equation is false, put your head down and bob your head to your iPod so it looks like you're focused on the music.

+ Boy, what an awesome Game 1 of The Finals (by the way: it's not "the Finals", it's "The Finals". ABC has been very clear on this for like four years now. I think they want "The Finals" to get the same kind of caché as "The Masters"). Seriously, what a gutty performance by Paul Pierce. He went down HARD in the 3rd. So hard in fact, he had to have some teammates carry him to the sidelines and then be wheelchaired into the locker room where - according to Michelle Tafoya - doctors pleaded with him not to put ANY weight on his right knee. Someway, somehow, Pierce came back on the floor in 5 minutes, channeling his inner Willis Reed. How would he fare on the court? It clearly became evident that Pierce was suffering from what doctors call... absolutely nothing. He wasn't even limping. Five minutes after crying his way through the hallway. C'mon Paul, you gotta sell me better than that. 

+ Recently, I read about a game you can play called "KG That". Basically, you go through your everyday normal motions. Get up, take a shower, eat a bowl of Rice Chex, whatever. If anything remotely goes in your favor, even if it was expected, you KG That. Excuse me, you KG THAT SH*T!!! Get an extra quarter back in change from the pop machine? GO APESH*T! Write your last name across the chest of your shirt and pop it out! Let those motherf*ckers know what you're reppin'! Did you order your potato skin appetizer in a better manner than most others? AAAARRRGGGHHHH!!!!! THAT'S HOW YOU ORDER TATE-SKEEZY'S BITCH!!!! Seriously though, try it out in private at first. When you're comfortable enough, unleash it on the public. Need inspiration? Oops...