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Monday, July 9, 2012

The 2012 HR Derby: Running Diary

Running Diary.  Let's get it on.


7:59 // Setting the Chris Berman Over/Under "Back" counter, conservatively, at 79.

8:05 // Chris Berman: "Our lineup tonight brought to you by Taco Bell, not George 'Taco' Bell, but Taco Bell."  Mother of God...

8:16 // Berman: "Beltran is certainly in contention!".....through one batter.


8:19 // Beltran has the purest of swings.  Watching his swing -- I imagine this is the feeling women get watching an anorexic model walk down a runway.

8:21 // Tulowitzki would dominate this thing.  Why can't my man stay healthy.

8:23 // Hispanic guys watching a home run derby is the new black guys watching a dunk contest.

8:28 // Berman: "This one is on its way to Wichita!"   Wichita was the 3rd favorite on my board behind Branson and Topeka for Berman's local geography ref.

8:34 // The winner of the HR derby should win a first class ticket on the next flight out of Kansas City.

8:39 // Bobby Abreu holds the record for the most homers in a single Derby. 41 in 2005 at Comerica Park. I witnessed.

8:42 // I don't know why but Chris Berman is a perfect fit for the HR Derby. I’m expecting Boomer to have a brain aneurysm any minute now.

8:45 // My friends are hating on Berman.  People, it's the Home Run Derby.  Being obnoxious is necessary for a meaningless competition like this.  I'm comparing this to people who dislike Nickelback.  It's taken on a life of it's own, as if it's cool to hate Nick for the hell of it.

8:49 // I can't wait until the Home Run Derby finals and George Brett is sitting on a raft in the fountains eating ribs.

8:52 // Prop Bet Update: If you had John Kruk to eat more than 8.5 ribs on air during the home run derby, you win. Congrats.

8:53 // Kruk hasn't said 3 words since that buffet spread came out.


8:56 // Oh damn...John Kruk just ate a cameraman.

9:05 // Berman: "Man that one's hit to Omaha!" George Brett: "That's the wrong direction."

9:12 // Mannequins with gloves would have caught more fly balls than these kids.

9:14 // Check that. The kid in the blue cleats shaggin flies could play for me anyday.

9:15 // [passes out]

9:36 // [wakes up]

9:37 // A swing-off in the Home Run Derby is only matched by the drama of an overtime NFL preseason game.

9:39 // Kruk: "Who ya got, Nomar?" Nomar Garciaparra: "Between these two?" (There are two people remaining in the competition.)

9:42 // If they forced the players to circle the bases with every home run, Prince would have died in Round 1.

9:45 // Berman channeling his inner Jim Nantz is the perfect end for the evening. "Prince is the king here in Kansas City."

9:52 // Pedro Gomez: "State Farm is donating much, much to the community". And you thought Miss Teen South Carolina was bad.

10:00 // Detroit FTW. Prince Fielder became only the second player to win multiple titles in the All-Star Home Run Derby.  This is his Alamo.


2 comments :

Brigee said...

9:15 // Old Sko has had enough.

Young HONE said...

"Who ya got, Nomar?"

"Between these two?"

I admire you for not changing the channel at this point. Well done!