Gooooooa-teeeeee!

// Those Tigers. Two things really stuck out in my mind as I was watching last night's 8-2 loss to the South Siders. First, the Tigers ended the season the same way they played throughout most of it: sorely lacking clutch hitting and employing an incredibly reliable bullpen. What? Reliable? Yes, reliable. The bullpen was reliable in that not one single Tigers fan ever felt safe with any lead at any point throughout - what I'm considering - the second most disappointing season by a Detroit team in my lifetime. In case you were wondering, I consider the Lions' 2005 season to be the most disappointing, if only because they showed so much promise in the 2nd half of '04. That season marked the end of my innocence as not only a Lions fan, but a sports honk in general. Anyways, I submit that this year's Tigers were almost as equally disappointing. Obviously, the $137.7 million payroll makes the sting a bit more potent. But that's not what hurts the most. The Tigers are Detroit's flagship team, more so than even the Lions or Red Wings (btw, methinks the Pistons are a distant 6th behind UofM and MSU football). The Detroit area had its hopes set so high for the Tigs, and therein lies the reason this season felt so much worse than just "highly-paid underacheivement". The Tigers turned in embarrassingly sub-par performances that we witnessed all season. Each one felt like the same kick in the stomach, which hurt even more when one considers the current state of everything non-sports related all over the metro area. The existence of sport, when broken down to its most basic function, is escapism. It's why Rome had the Colosseum. When there is great entertainment afoot, people don't pay as much mind to their real-world problems. The incredible buzz generated by off-season acquisitions and the (seemingly surefire) improvement of young stars was even further enhanced by Michigan's desire to lose itself in what they thought was to be an excellent team. Those aspirations were quickly dashed during the 2-10 start. Although the team had its little hot streaks from time to time, the writing was on the wall as early as mid-April. There would be no repeating 2006. I suppose there is only one thing in which to take solace: spring training begins in 5 months.

// I want to talk about TV for a bit. Some time ago, I railed pretty hard against Entourage. In my mind, the show had become stagnant and bland. After watching the first 4 episodes of Season 5, I'm very pleased to report that this is generally no longer the case. The way I see it: three very good episodes, and one that was pretty bad. Given the current amount of absolute garbage on television, I'll take a .750 hitter any day. They've corrected some huge mistakes, chief among them being the cohesiveness of the storylines. In seasons 3 & 4, it seemed like every episode hopped and skipped to something that had nothing to do with the one previous, like the show itself had incurred dissociative identity disorder. This season, it looks like we have 2 or maybe 3 nice, season-long story arcs. The writing has improved as well, and that in turn is making the actors seem much less ridiculous. Kudos to Doug Ellin and his band of merry men for giving us a watchable show again. Turning to a show that has yet to hiccup, The Office season premier was outstanding. If you haven't seen it, get on Hulu and hammer it out. Top notch stuff.

// In this life, there are sometimes things that are both incredibly self-explanatory and incredibly nonsensical simultaneously. Ladies and gentlemen, collectible vinyl babies dressed up as M&M's. I can only imagine the people who buy these things.

// I saw Forgetting Sarah Marshall. The short review: it was good. It was a very entertaining movie with a good mix of screwball comedy and slapstick comedy set against a decent enough romantic backdrop. I liked it and have recommended it to several people who haven't yet had the pleasure. That said, three effing discs? Forrest Gump didn't merit three discs. I think they fit Band of Brothers on less than three discs. For the life of me, I can't begin to fathom what they could be blathering on about for three discs. What do they have, 6 different commentaries? Come on.

// Americans Search for "Wizards", "Cupcakes", and "Sex Toys" More Often Than "Financial Crisis". This is oooouuuuurrrr country. BTW, who just types in "cupcakes"? Are their people out there who are that into cupcakes that they'll just take whatever general information there is? I could maybe understand typing "cupcake recipes", although I still can't imagine that often. Seriously, what gives?

// I like when someone does/says something really, really stupid or ill-contrived and then makes a sincere and genuine apology for it. I like seeing redemption. We all make mistakes, right? Right. So in a case in which the offending party is sincere and not just paying lip service, I feel they deserve forgiveness. Josh Howard, a forward on the Mavericks, made some very disparaging remarks about the Star-Spangled Banner and the US in general some time ago. Basically, he said he didn't celebrate the song because he's black. Many people took that as an implication that he doesn't care for the country because he feels it doesn't care for him, despite his hefty salary and the lifestyle it affords him. On Monday, Howard made his mea culpa during the Mavs' media day.

"I apologize to everybody I've offended," the 6-7 forward said. "I'm upset with myself and the way I've acted. It was just me joking around. I just wasn't using my head. I learned that words really do hurt and you are held accountable for what you said. I went to military school. I have friends that serve in the military. I know how it is to wake up and salute the flag. In the national anthem every game, I have my hand over my heart. It was just me not thinking."

You can peep the video if you want to see his demeanor. Personally, I believe he's being honest and he truly regrets his mistake. More often than not, I feel the public apologies given by athletes/celebrities/politicians are not true apologies, they're just acknowledgments of guilt. My mom used to call me on this when I wasn't truly sorry for one of my (countless) transgressions. She used the ubiquitous go-to line, "You're not sorry, you're just sorry you got caught." I think Josh Howard's sincerity deserves notice.

// The New Penny. Good gravy, why on Earth are they putting out special edition pennies? For crying out loud! Pennies! Nobody even likes pennies! I've said this non-bloggingly many times to anyone who would listen, but I'll say it again. Congress should enact a law that requires all non-electronic transactions to be adjusted in price so the final cost with tax included ends in a multiple of five cents. It just makes sense. I'm seeing Obama speak up here on Thursday. Maybe if I put on my Groucho Marx glasses I can get close enough to lay this whole thing out for him. One can only hope.

// Obligatory Star Wars Related Link: Lightsaber Chopsticks. They're exactly what they sound like.

// MAYBE NSFW. Lastly, dig this video. It looks like a ruse, right? Wrong. I know! The video just looks like a poor attempt at humor, but it's legitimate. Like the salad said to the soup, "I'm all mixed up!" (note: I stole that line from the season premier of The Simpsons, specifically Flanders)



// Ta-ta for now, party people.