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Tuesday, March 3, 2009

Follow it Up

To Follow my last post up: Here is a list of the worst 10 tv shows currently on. I wrote my prior post before seeing what is #1. Other than that I haven't seen any of these shows, I've heard 'Knight Rider' sucks, Heroes was only good for the first season, I've seen about 5 mins of 'The Hills', which is 20 mins too much. Frankly, I'm surprised 'Frank TV' got resigned (PUN!). 'Last Call with Carson Daily' Blah, 'Mind of Mencia' Double Blah....

Late Night with Jimmy Fallon: EPIC FAIL

// I'll be honest, I never liked Jimmy Fallon. I always thought that he was cocky, arrogant, basically not funny, and constantly broke character on SNL to beg for laughter. I understand why most people liked him, he had that cuteness factor to him where he was basically saying 'I have no idea what's going on but it's pretty funny!!!!. I get why someone would laugh at this the first time, but to continue to do so is beyond me. Jimmy Fallon, to me, represents the antichrist. Honestly if you look at what skits and movies he has been in, he might as well directed every single 'Scary Movie', 'Epic Movie’, and 'Disaster Movie'. My point being is the people that like these movies will love the new Late Night with Jimmy Fallon, because after every joke that Fallon makes during the monologue deserves a forced laughter.

// Let’s not lie, Conan’s monologues were never that good, and often did not deserve laughter, if any, but it was the way that he delivered it that made it funny. Jimmy Fallon has no experience in this, he is used to the “AUDIENCE” sign coming on after his horribly delivered jokes, in which if no one laughed he would start laughing to start making everyone else laugh, because hey laughing is funny!. It is if Fallon knows that his jokes are bad, but is not willing to submit, as Conan did, to how bad of a joke it is. This smartass (I don’t know how else to categorize it) way to tell jokes is not going to work out for him. The following at Late Night is going to give him a couple passes at first to allow him to get his bearings, but they won’t allow to much bullshit, allow me to explain.

// Tonight, I watched the premier episode of Late Night with Jimmy Fallon, and felt awkward. While Fallon was delivering his monologue I felt bad for him, I’ve noticed throughout time that I can notice when someone is publicly speaking nervously, and Fallon definitely was. By that, I mean that he was constantly bringing his finger up to wipe his nose, shaking his head, hesitating his words, and giving uncomfortable laughs for approval. I literally felt bad for him, which I’m guessing is not what a new late night show host is striving for. He no longer had that ‘forced laughter’ that basically made him as big of a star as he is. He is now in the stratosphere of actually delivering on jokes (which he is clearly bad at), because that’s the only reason people watch the Late Night show.

// His monologue was to the point of badness that I felt bad for him. The jokes weren’t that bad, I actually think that he has the same writers as Conan, but who knows, I’m too lazy to look it up, but it was just how he delivered him that made me feel bad for him. He basically looked at the TV screen and begged for approval. In which I replied, “Stop looking at me!” The worst part was when he got a legitimate big time star for an interview, Mr. Robert De Niro.

// Fallon: Oh man, (hand up to face) you have no idea what this means to me that you are here.
// Robert De Niro: Yeah…. Well…..
// Fallon: (hand to face) do you realize how big you are?!?!?
// Robert De Niro: Yeah…
// Fallon: (Laughing like a school girl)
// Rober De Niro: (Uncomfortably) So you got any questions?)
// Fallon: HeHeHeHaHaHa
// Robert De Niro: …………………………..
// Fallon: (Still laughing like a school girl) how cool are you??

// That’s about as much as I could watch, maybe he had better questions for Justin Timberlake, but I thank there on the same level.

// Hopefully this does not set a new precedence on Late Night of being a complete douch to the guest and making them feel uncomfortable. I hope that we can take Jimmy Fallon’s training wheels off now, but who fucking knows. All that I know is that I'm not going to waste anymore time watching Late Night with Jimmy Fallon.

Sunday, March 1, 2009

S'job Yanks


// I should start by saying that at a young age, some of my best memories went down at the corner of Michigan and Trumbull. Tiger Stadium. Sometimes Pops would take me down for a nightcap and we’d watch Cecil Fielder hit one over the roof (following a burger at Nemos). Or when it was a hot afternoon in July, I would head down there with John Nechiporchik and we’d watch the early-90s Tigs beat up a Central-division rival. And Mike took me to the last game at the stadium, after 88 historical years, where we saw the Tigers mow down the Royals. Strong.

// But, for those in the organization with the deep pockets (i.e. Ilitch), it was time for a change. It was the new millennium, the Tigers were down, and this was a way to get fans back in the ballpark. On one hand, I don’t blame him. There were tons of empty seats in those days. But, as we were told in the press releases, the stadium was breaking down. And just as importantly, there were a lot of “Obstructed View” seats. The pillars, which were built to support the overhanging roof, blocked the viewers’ sightlines in multiple sections. Problem solved: It’s impossible to have a bad seat in Comerica Park.

// So why did I just give you a brief rundown of the old Tiger Stadium? The higher-ups in the Bronx clearly did not take notes. In about a month, the Yankees will open up their new stadium across the street from the House that Ruth Built. While the rest of the country feels the hurting economy, the Yanks have jacked up ticket prices in efforts to pay for their new ballpark.

// However, the price of watching a game for some tickets dropped last week. The obstructed-view seats have gone from $12 to $5, which applies to about 700 seats at the new Yankee stadium. They’ll be sold for $5. So let’s think about this... They spent $8 billion on their new stadium, and they still have 700 obstructed-view seats? That’s like if the Yankees built a car, they’d put the steering wheel in shotgun. Or lets look at this another way. If you go out and rent an apartment, and it costs $800 a month (damn Chicago rents), it probably won’t be perfect. There might be a quirky kitchen…or the bathroom might be a little cramped. But if you spend $1,500 for an apartment, you don’t want the toilet in the living room. Forget the Yankees free agent acquisitions, they can’t even build a stadium right. They have the best architects in the world at their disposal, and they have 700 seats where you can’t see the mound. There’s no other way to say it. If you can’t see the game…why go to the game? If you go down to the stadium with the guys, staring at a pole for three hours isn’t cutting it. I’d rather just stay home in my boxers and drink cheaper beers. Between this and the A-Roid story, I’m seeing a tough ’09 for the Yanks.

// That’s all I got. Have a greasy week. I’ll leave you with this…..