YKI means You Know It

// Michael Phelps went 8 for 8 on his gold medal run at the Olympics. A couple of things went
through my mind when I watched him cut through the competition, A) WOW. B) Thank God he’s
from America. C) Awesome. Honestly, what an amazing accomplishment, he literally could not have done any better. Some sport commentators are already calling him the greatest Olympian ever, granted that is true; I mean he has won more gold medals then anyone in history, so I will give him that. But when they start calling him the greatest athlete ever I have to stop someone right there. A couple of guys from a couple of shows you might of heard of before on ESPN, Around the Horn and PTI, agreed that he’s the greatest athlete ever, here’s why I have to disagree. First off, calling someone the greatest athlete ever implies that they excel at several sports, meaning that you could take Phelps out of the pool and throw some football pads on him and he would Terry Tate someone, and then after that take him out to the bowling alley and watch him bowl a 300. Until he Terry Tates someone and bowls a 300, I’m not ready to call him the greatest athlete ever… the greatest swimmer ever, yes. U-S-A! U-S-A!

// Speaking of the Olympics, can you believe these Chinese fucks? In case you didn’t know, if you saw the opening ceremonies on tv, then you were watching computer generated fireworks. There is so much smog in Beijing that even at night you would not be able to see the fireworks clear enough. So they had some guys work on some CGI fireworks for 8 months to play over the rest of the shit. (yeah I got a source) Where there plan failed: forgetting to blindfold all of the foreign reporters that were present at the opening ceremonies…. Oops. There’s strike 1; Strike 2: they had an open competition for little girls with the best voice to sing their national anthem at the opening ceremonies, the girl with the best voice one, but she was ugly so they got a hot 9 year old to lip sync over her. (source) Strike 3: admittedly, I did watch some of the USA vs. China Olympics. The minimum age for the girls has to be 16. I looked at the US team and didn’t think twice about the age requirement, then I looked at the Chinese team and honestly thought that half of them were 9-12. (source) One girl weighed 64 lbs… and I think if she really was 16 then she must constantly get trampled walking around the halls in high school, but then again Chinese boys like that. Final verdict: Fuck China.

// This normally wouldn’t bother me because I know this movie is going to be a complete bomb, but as of late I have been flooded with trailers for Disaster Movie.

Allow me to explain this trailer to you. The opening starts with a horribly costumed Iron Man saying, “I am Iron Man!,” and then a cow falls him. Let me pause my synopsis right there and ask a very needed hypothetical, why is that funny?!?! Think about it…. Ok, let’s continue. Ummm… girls running around in bikinis for no reason, and a meteorite hits Hannah Montana, and she tells everyone to buy her two new albums out in 2 weeks! HA HA HA man she would totally do that. The laughs just keep coming, the Incredible Hulk while in a Hulk scream made his shorts come off!!! Oh man can you imagine what it would be like if the Hulk was naked?!?! Girl gets hit by a taxi, didn’t see that coming. Oh my God, I might take everything bad about this movie that I just said because I just saw the FUNNIEST THING EVER, ok you know that movie Hancock with Will Smith where he plays a superhero but he’s also kind of an asshole and drinks a lot? Well Disaster Movie couldn’t of gotten it more right when they had him say “Oh hell no” and then he tried to fly but he hit a lamp post and fell back again!!!!!! Hilarious. No way… they did a spoof off of the Sex and the City movie, you won’t believe what the writers came up with… one of the girls is a transvestite! HAHAHA. Juno spoof. Never Back Down spoof… Don’t mess with the Zohan spoof??? Wait, didn’t that just come out a couple of months ago?? Ok, just did some quick research and found out that this movie was literally written, casted, filmed, edited, and produced in three months. 3 MONTHS. 12 WEEKS. You can’t even complete a semester in college in 12 weeks, yet they managed to complete what takes a good movie to do in 2 years in a tenth of the time. If I find out that anyone of my friends go to this movie… consider us not friends anymore. If this movie makes any money, I won’t be as mad at the people that made it then the people that actually spent money to sit in a theater for 2 hours and watch this piece of shit.

// I don’t like to leave on a bad note, so for whatever reason this video puts a smile on my face. YKI.